blog numero uno

So I am new to this whole thing. Emily and I decided to start a blog on the same day. It all started cause I was just having a not cool day. It wasn't a terrible day, it was more that I started thinking about things. I think it started when I booked my flight home. I'm flying to St. Paul from Chicago for break on the 22nd. I have missed home insanely. I love Chicago and I love school and I love the people that I have met, but I miss everyone and everything about home. I don't think I will transfer though because that's too much work and I don't hate it down here. I know it will just take some getting used to. Anywho, so I started thinking about how much I miss home. Then I started thinking about everything else about life, because when I think, that's what happens. My whole life I have struggled with my self-esteem...it sucks. I have constantly been made fun of and I get so paranoid when I see other people talking. This is really sad, but I don't like to leave my room when my both my roommates are there because I am afraid that they will say something about me. I don't know if it's because my one roommate can be a bitch, but I don't like to do it. I don't know why I always end up thinking about it, but I do, and I think it's sad that I put it out on my internet for people to see. It makes it seem like I am looking for sympathy, when, in reality, it just feels good to get frustrations out. Sometimes it's more effective than talking to someone. Though, I am talking to pretty much the world when I put it on here. See how my mind works?? It's nuts. I'm nuts, so that makes sense. Back to what I was talking about. I ended up talking to Emily about it, which is how we got started on all this blog stuff, I put on a little music and now I feel better, a little better anyway. That is until tomorrow and then I start to feel shitty again...kidding, I really hope that this blog doesn't turn into a poor pitiful trip. I don't think it will just because I tend to have more happy days than sad ones :D